Finding the joy

Happy Friday friends!

Finding the joy. Today I have been feeling funky, second-guessing myself, worrying a little too much, and for no good reason. Even throughout my yoga practice this morning I felt tense and kind of angry. This was so weird to me because yoga always helps me see things more clearly and peacefully.

This afternoon I had a couple rehearsals and they went fine, I chatted with several people but two of my closest girlfriends weren’t there, so I started getting down on myself for not having any friends. What the heck? I talked with several of my pals today and just because they weren’t there, all of a sudden I was a loner? No, not one bit true!

On Wednesday I was chatting with my mom about possible career changed and I started crying. Not really a regular occurrence.

So here’s the thing. This week has been tough for me. I’ve been thinking so much about my future: my career possibilites, my family, my home, I have been so wrapped up in the future and getting it right, that I’ve been letting everything that I love about my life and myself seem like chump change. The fact is, I won’t get it perfectly right. I don’t really know that anyone ever does, but today I am choosing to acknowledge this fear I’m harboring. Today I want to choose to let some of that go, even if it’s just breathing and focusing on the things that were so great about this week; like being able to Skype with my mom, and actually having so many possibilities open to me.

So today I’m choosing joy, because I want to live my life like the celebration that it is! The things I can’t change will happen no matter what, so I want to live in this moment.

And I am seeing one of my favorite operas at New England Conservatory tomorrow, which I am really looking forward to!

What are you doing this weekend?
How are you choosing joy today?

Happiness Starts Here

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