And a while, it certainly has.
My last entry here was almost 2 years ago, and my what a lot has changed. I kind of stumbled back onto this blog by chance as I was scrolling through my feed on BlogLovin and was happily surprised that I had not deleted it.
Some things are still the same, like my love for singing and performing, my devotion to working out, my struggle to be myself and own my journey, but I’m done with school and now working full time. That has proved to be a struggle in and of itself- I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that transitioning from being a student for over 16 years, to joining the workplace and becoming entirely financially independent, is no small feat! Now rather than forcing myself to workout in ways that make me unhappy, I’ve maintained a regular yoga practice for the past 8 months. It helps keep me centered and has really allowed me to embrace mindfulness and (try to!) come from a place of kindness when I am being hard on myself.
I’m still in Boston, and fortunate to be living with my best friend, but I’m beginning to wonder if this is the city I want to stay in. Yes, I have a stable job and living situation, but based on my less-than-stellar past audition season, am I really in the best location to maximize my opportunities to “make it”? And what even is “making it” to me anymore? I feel like there are so many questions rolling around in my head about whether I should stay or go or abandon this particular dream altogether! I love to perform, but do I love it enough to spend years on end occupying foreign hotel rooms by myself, flying to a new city every 6 weeks to perform a show and forge relationships with people I may never see again, over and over and over again? How important is my desire for a family? Do I want or expect a husband or children to follow me where I go?
These are just a few of the ramblings that have come loose from my brain in the past few months, and that I felt I needed to release ‘on paper’ so to speak. I think I’ll be frequenting this space a lot more, now that I’ve rediscovered it.
And as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts- be they on changing careers, making difficult decisions, or how to start your 401K. Yes, #adulting is now happening BIG TIME.
Happiness Starts Here